


Bitter Chocolate

by WolfAndHound_Archivist



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Friendship, Marauders' Era, Pre-Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-06
Updated: 2016-02-06
Packaged: 2018-05-18 14:35:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,890
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5931904
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WolfAndHound_Archivist/pseuds/WolfAndHound_Archivist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Prequel to Hot Chocolate. Remus' first boyfriend... Sirius is jealous and tries to win his best friend's heart.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Bitter Chocolate

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Lassenia, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [Wolf and Hound](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Wolf_and_Hound), which was created to make stories posted to the Sirius_Black_and_Remus_Lupin Yahoo! mailing list easier to find. However, even though I still love the fandom, I am no longer active in it and do not have the time to maintain it. To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in December 2015. I posted an announcement with Open Doors, but we may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on the [Wolf and Hound collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/wolfandhound/profile).

"You fancy Moony, don't you?"

"Sod off, Pete."

"C'mon, you need to talk about it to someone..." Peter wheedled.

Sirius looked up, frowning. "What do you want me to say? Yes, I fancy Moony and every time I see him snogging Boot it makes me want to puke?"

"It's a start. How long have you fancied him? I just noticed how sad you look whenever Boot comes into the Common Room."

Sirius muttered angrily for a moment about nosy rats and how they got caught in traps in the end, but he was confident that no-one else knew of his obsession and that even if Peter noticed he liked Remus, no-one else would unless he became much more obvious about it. It was just that Peter watched them all closely. He was good like that, keeping an eye on his friends - and on their enemies.

"Ages. Since Christmas."

That was five months ago now - five long months of watching Remus pine after and then win their year-mate, Gareth Boot from Ravenclaw. The two boys had been together for two of those months. Sirius had been hoping that considering it was Remus' first romance, the flame would die fairly quickly...but it hadn't. He'd half-expected it to be like his own first foray into the world of sex and lust, which had been brought about almost entirely by five bottles of Butterbeer and a sneaky shot of Firewhisky, and which had left him unable to look Laurence Madley in the eye for weeks. Unfortunately, it wasn't, and Remus seemed to have no problems gazing for very long periods into his boyfriend's eyes.

"And you never told him? Why not?"

"He fancies Boot. Has done for months. And I didn't want to lose him. It could have screwed up everything, Pete."

"Don't be daft. Remus is one of the most understanding people on earth. Well, he has to be doesn't he? Even if he doesn't fancy you, you'd still be his best mate."

"Oh." Sirius looked up at his friend with disappointed eyes, "You don't think he does fancy me then?" If Peter hadn't noticed something, it generally implied it wasn't there.

Peter gave a sad smile, "Sorry, mate. These last few months he's been so batty about Gareth, he hasn't so much as looked at another bloke."

Sirius sighed. "Well, no point dwelling on it. Let's find Prongs and piss off some Slytherins, eh?"

"If you wanna talk about him, you know I don't mind?"

Sirius put an arm around the shorter boys' shoulders and squeezed, "Yeah, cheers mate."

+++++

"And then we put dungbombs down his trousers and belching powder on his neck, so for the last hour he's been burping and creating a stink everywhere he goes. He was kicked out the library for 'disgusting behaviour' and couldn't even stop burping long enough to protest! AND he was chatting up that sixth-year girl in Slytherin with long brown hair when it started, and she ran off! Bet he won't get another chance with her." James, Sirius and Peter were howling with laughter as they told Remus their latest prank on Severus Snape. Remus played guiltily with the Prefect badge he had been awarded at the beginning of the year - their fifth already, he couldn't believe how quickly it had come round - even as he laughed at the other boys' mischief.

Finally, Remus got into 'Prefect' mode, "Come on, it's half past ten. Lights out."

"Moony!" his friends protested.

"We've got Potions first thing tomorrow, and I don't want Prongs to fall asleep and blow up his cauldron again," Remus tried to point out reasonably.

"It's not like anyone got hurt, the potion just burnt a few holes in some peoples' robes." James argued.

"Yeah, but we're working on more difficult potions now and someone could get hurt. One of us could get hurt."

Remus hated lecturing his friends, but he couldn't stand the thought of one of them being hurt because of his negligence. And he could never seem to control the impulse to protect them, even when it came to protecting them from themselves.

"Come on, it's not fair on Remus to argue with his about this, it's not his fault." Peter sighed, and started to prepare for bed. Sirius and James complained, but followed his example, and Remus heaved a sigh of relief. At least for one night this week they weren't pulling him out of the dorm to explore the castle. Peer pressure! It was the absolute worst. And then he thought of their adventures that week, like breaking into Filch's office and putting booby-traps on every draw in his desk, as well as nicking all the interesting things he'd confiscated for the last who-knows-how-many years. They'd left the sweets, most of which had gone off in their years in the caretakers' office, but taken several kinds of explosives, some toy Quidditch players, and a fair few wank mags. He had to admit that peer pressure could be the absolute best as well.

By now the room had settled down for the night, and Sirius laid in bed trying to sleep. The room stilled as his friends drifted off into their dreamworlds, with just a few soft snores and the faint sound of breathing to prove he wasn't alone. To prove Remus was in a nice, big, warm bed only a few feet away. Thoughts of Remus stuck in his mind, Sirius almost immediately slid a hand into his pyjama bottoms and cupped his penis, which though soft did not take long to respond to the touch. It was agony to have to go through the day so close to Remus and unable to touch himself- or better persuade Remus to touch him. However hard he tried to concentrate, he couldn't' stop himself coming up with illusions of what Remus looked like naked and aroused, how he tasted on the tongue, the sounds he made. Sometimes Remus would groan in frustration over his homework and the sound would leave Sirius aroused for hours afterwards. These memories fuelled Sirius' lust, as he stroked himself in the dark. He was no novice when it came to this kind of relief, he knew just how to touch himself to satisfy his hunger, he knew just which fantasies got him off, and they had long revolved around Remus.

He started to pump his fist, picturing Remus...he'd seen him naked before, knew just what the other boys' body looked like. The image clear in his mind, he imagined a sweet kiss. It would start off as a simple pressure of lip on lip, like the kisses exchanged during Truth or Dare in the Gryffindor Common Room some nights. Then tongues, moving in a way Sirius had experienced only twice before. Chocolate on Remus' tongue...in his mouth - Sirius could almost taste it now, as his hand moved faster. He could imagine wrapping his tongue around Remus' to get more of that taste. Then their naked bodies would press together, and they'd touch each other, just like he had done Laurence only better because he wouldn't be drunk and shaking and closing his eyes so he could picture someone else behind his eyelids. And then...Sirius wasn't entirely sure...

Though he'd realised quite a while ago that he fancied men, he'd never really got the nerve to look up what men actually did when they were shagging men. He'd never even told his mates he was gay...then again, neither had Moony, he'd just come into the dorm one day and mentioned that he really, really wanted to snog Gareth Boot. The boys were all pretty open-minded, and had taken that in their stride, just as they had done the realisation that Remus was a werewolf.

What Sirius did know was that he wanted Remus to bite him, just lightly, on the back of the neck, like Moony did to Padfoot. He wanted to feel dominated and possessed and chosen...like Moony chose Padfoot as a packmate and staked his claim - as alpha of the pack, as Sirius' leader - by biting Padfoot's neck gently. The image of sweet, calm Remus biting him was enough to push him into the flying- falling spin of orgasm, like it always was.

Afterwards, Sirius turned his head to the left and stared mournfully, as though he could see through his bed-curtains to the boy he could not have. It was terrible to long so greatly for someone he could not have. But then, why couldn't he? Maybe Remus just needed to be persuaded to see Sirius in the right light. Surely he could bring Remus around to his way of thinking - after all, he was Remus' best friend, the other boy must love him in some form. And surely, it would not be difficult to change the form of that love until it was the lustful, passionate, romantic emotion Sirius longed for. He resolved, as he fell asleep, to try and win Remus' heart.

+++++

"Here." Sirius pushed a bar of Honeyduke's best chocolate over the library table to Remus.

"Hmm?" Remus asked, dragging his eyes away from his homework for a moment. "Oh, chocolate, thanks!"

Sirius tried not to watch Remus savour the bar with almost orgasmic fervour and then lick at his fingers and lips gleefully. Gradually he dragged his attention back to his homework, smiling inside at how pleased Remus had been with the little gesture. Peter really had the right idea, using little touches to make a person's day. He bet that prat Gareth didn't think about little sweet tokens.

+++++

Remus was amazed when he arrived back from a date with Gareth one night to find Sirius sat in the Common Room, nose buried in Lord of the Flies. Remus was almost obsessively bookish, having been prevented from making friends before coming to Hogwarts (most of the parents of his friends before the bite had protested his even entering the school their children attended, never mind what they thought of his playing with their kids). Books had for a long time been his only company. It had been a passion he had been unable to instil in his friends, despite his attempts. Yet here Sirius was...

"Hello, Moony. Have you read this?"

"No, I've heard of it though. Is it good?"

"It's really... disturbing...but good at the same time. You can borrow it after me, I'm almost finished."

"Oh! Thanks!"

One more point for Sirius, the boy thought to himself. Gareth might already like books, but he was sure it would mean more to Remus that his best friend shared his love of books than some random bloke.

+++++

Going about their mischief on Friday night, they almost got caught by Filch. Pete and James managed to sneak into the girls' bathroom, whilst Sirius and Remus hid themselves under James' invisibility cloak, Sirius with his back against the wall furthest from Filch and Remus up against him.

"You'll have to press closer, Moony, your shoes are showing." Sirius pressed his lips right next to his friend's ear and whispered, his voice very low so Filch would not hear.

The two boys huddled closely together for the three minutes it took Filch to walk from one end of the corridor to the other. Sirius stayed cheek to cheek with Remus the entire time, ostensibly so he could keep an eye on Filch over Remus' shoulder.

"He's gone." Sirius observed finally, moving his hands to Remus' hips to move the two of them away from the wall. Both boys were breathing quite quickly, and Sirius knew it could either be the thrill of their little war with Filch, or a thrill of an entirely different kind. He knew which he was experiencing, and was pretty hopeful about Moony too.

+++++

Touches...more than in the past. The next step in the plan was to touch Remus until it drove him mad. Arm around his shoulder, chin resting on top of his head, ruffling his hair, grabbing his hand to pull him out of his chair in the library when it was time for mischief. Sirius knew it was driving **him** mad for a start. Peter noticed and gave Sirius an encouraging smile, and Sirius took heart. Gareth Boot seemed to realise Sirius was touching his boyfriend more, even if he didn't know Sirius' reasons behind it, and grew jealous. Sirius saw that as proof further of his success. He must be close to winning now.

+++++

Half past three in the morning and Sirius finds himself woken by a whimper. He knows it was Moony because of the direction it came from. Just as he was about to jump out of bed and rescue his friend from his nightmare (and maybe use this opportunity for a few more touches, and a chance to show off his half-naked body), Remus chuckled and whispered "Don't!"

He couldn't hear what the reply was, just the low murmur of another boys' voice. But he knew who was with Remus. That bastard had snuck into their room to do...something...to his Moony. And Remus was letting him, with Sirius lying just a few feet away. His plan had failed. All his attempts had done nothing more than make him long for Remus even more powerfully.

The moist smack of lip on lip, the sound of kissing. Remus chuckled a bit more and there was the sound of clothing rustling. They were getting undressed...they were going to kiss and lick and suck and maybe even...do whatever else two men do, all just a few feet away from Sirius. He moved, as quietly as he could, rolling to the edge of his bed, before twitching the curtains just a tiny bit, opening them a few centimetres. The room was dark, almost pitch black, but Sirius could make out that Remus' curtains were only half- closed...probably that bastard pulled them open when he snuck in and never bothered to close them again...he could see the white shapes of their bodies even in the dark. They were kissing, wrapped around each other like - and Sirius almost sobbed with despair and self- pity at the thought - littermates, writhing little puppies wiggling together. And he could see now what it is that men do together, Remus moving, thrusting...and Sirius closed his curtains as tears started to leak from his eyes. He wished he'd never wondered what men do together, because he's had to find out in the worst possible way.

Part of him, the part that is a Black and demands he gets what he wants, wants to fight for Remus. If necessary he would rip his beloved from the boy he's with and keep him wrapped in the cocoon of his own arms, until he sees Sirius as Sirius wants to be seen. The rest of Sirius, the part that has been nurtured by Remus and Peter and James, gives himself this one night to grieve for what he has lost out on and insists that the next morning he move on and let Remus be happy. So he buries his face in the cushion and blocks his ears to the noise from the next bed, and finally falls into fitful sleep.

+++++

The next morning Peter looked at Sirius and somehow could see that he has given up.

"You alright mate?"

"I'll be fine." Sirius managed to conjure up a smile for his friend, glad that Peter has stood by him and continues to support him.

James, who seemed so oblivious to Sirius' interests when Sirius was happily trying to win Remus over, returned his attention to his best friend as soon as he saw Sirius is not as happy as he had been. Sirius managed a smile for him as well. Although James is vain and arrogant and entirely prone to ignoring his friends in favour of trying to win over Lily (James is a firm believer that when a girl cannot be won over by good looks and body and cheek, love becomes a war of attrition where he must wear her down until she is too fed up to fight anymore), James is still a good friend and always sticks by when his friends need him. He hexed Snape and did Sirius' homework for him and teased Lily until she slapped him, and managed to get a few smiles from Sirius for his efforts.

+++++

Remus notices that day that Sirius does not smile. Well, he gives painful wry smiles to his friends when they demand them of him, but nothing more. And it drives Remus mad. When Sirius is his normal, cheerful, impudent, charming self then he's just **Sirius** and everything is right with the world, but when Sirius won't smile, it feels like the sun has refused to rise in the morning. Remus worries endlessly about his friends, so when he notices Sirius' depression and the way James' normal attempts to cheer him up bounce off him like arrows off armour, he frets. Gareth tries to catch his attention, but he shrugs his boyfriend off and goes up to Sirius instead, putting a gentle hand on his shoulder and raising an eyebrow. Sirius looks at him, then at Gareth storming away in disgust at the rejection, and suddenly the sun comes out. Sirius **smiles** , and it's beautiful.


End file.
